i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
