kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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