She said her name was "party"
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize