Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
