i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize