i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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