So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
