Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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