I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
