My nipple is on Facebook.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
