K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
