I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize