Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
