You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
did you just send me my own nude
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
