if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You just made me feel so damn special
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
