I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize