somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
no, he came in my armpit
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
