I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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