I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
