new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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