four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
How's work?
Spinning.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
