this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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