Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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