carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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