Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
