I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
