theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
