Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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