We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
