I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
