There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
