just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
