And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I wear drunk well.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
