Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize