i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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