I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
