Everything about him screamed your future.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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