There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
