Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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