I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
