she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
