thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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