we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
