it hurts more in the daytime
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
