i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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