the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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