i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
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