I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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