6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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