so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I came so hard my ears popped.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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