Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
