he shaved USA in his pubs
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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