Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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