Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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