$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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