Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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