you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
