i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
should my penis look like a turkey
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
