I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
we're making bets on your personal life
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
