Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
