I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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