i jhust puked up my retainher.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
