This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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