fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
