We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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