people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
