best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
