I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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